Monday, January 03, 2005

Formal Complaint

Scuddie wrote:
I want to formally complain about your lack of blog. I mean, what the fuck? Your partner (howdy!) has one, but he doesn't update it. Shame on the two of you! Shame!

Re: Formal Complaint

Dear Ms. Scuddie,

We here at Kell & Ryan INC. value our customers' feedback. In response to your letter dated December 27, 2004, concerning a lack of blog and our partner's negligence in updating his blog, we'd like to offer our sincere apologies and a little history to help you better understand our situation.

While blogs have been a revolutionary technology that Kell INC. had had her eye on for quite some time, she opted, instead, for a more base tradition of writing in notebooks and outsourced the blog work to Ryan INC. Since Ryan INC. and Kell INC. joined forces in October 2004 to form Kell & Ryan INC. there has been a decline in production as we assimilate our space at our new office in Heidelberg, Germany. Lack of the internet, altogether, proved to be one road block along with a lack of kitchen which, in turn, created a lack of food. Lack of a number of other personal possessions forced us to concentrate on meeting more basic needs for some time. We're delighted to inform you, however, that our basic needs have now been met, and we have the means to address your concerns. Our unemployed and unintentional housewife status, which we prefer to call "domestic personality," however, has also left us often times with a lack of words.

The start of the New Year has motivated us to address this issue. Take this blog as an example of how we take your concerns seriously, you valued customer, you. We can also assure you that we have already met and negotiated with our partner regarding his blog which he has vowed to revisit in the upcoming days.

With best regards and most shamefully,
Kell & Ryan INC.


  1. Anonymous8:34 AM

    Thank you for your consideration on this matter. I am enthusiastic that my little comment actually made change in this world!
    But are you sure it should be called unemployment, or Fun-employment!
    Scuddie St. Scudiere

  2. Ms. Scuddie St. Scudiere,

    We have an open position here at Cowan & Niemes INC. for a Project Manager who would be in charge of overseeing developing projects and blogs, as well as making the necessary changes to our existing website to make Cowan & Niemes the most marketable source of nonsense out there in the World Wide Web. Your suggestion to change the very title of our blog has proved you a worthy candidate.

    With high hopes for you,
    Kelly Cowan
    Cowan & Niemes INC.

  3. Anonymous12:20 PM

    You are a nut Frieda.