Saturday, September 10, 2005

Footsy? Floozy? Celebrating One Year in Deutschland

Fotze. Turns out that's what I was called today after being physically threatened and verbally assaulted by a drunk, poor guy today. After failing to phonetically find the word in the Leo English/German dictionary, I made a wild guess (in English) based on his anger, and ability (vulgarity-wise) to draw onlookers to their windows and was successful on the first try of finding out that I'm a c*nt, because I didn't have a cigarette to spare.

The crazy part is that I wasn't scared...I mean, this guy stepped forward and raised his hand at me, which, in many people's books, would have warranted self-defense on my part. Perhaps it was the language barrier--I understood little of what he was saying so I played the foreigner by blatantly using English, saying, "I don't know what you're saying. I don't speak German." So then he comes back in English with, "ONE CIGARETTE!" Which I proceeded to apologize for not having and he subsequently drew his hand back in smack-position. I'm not sure what made him truly believe that I had one. I never thought I looked like a smoker. I wasn't leaning on our car smoking. I wasn't lighting matches or flicking a lighter to waste time. I didn't even have a purse with me or bulging pockets or a rolled up box shape in my sleeve. And anyway, I'm *not* a smoker. But he sure thought I was pulling one over on him. Then he walked away calling me Fotze and much much more which I can't remember.

What I *can* remember is many other verbal assaults. Like the time when:
  • The Harvard Square Poetry Bum (he wore a sign saying he'd recite any poem for 25 cents) thought I was coming on to him and told me to mind my own business after I tried giving him a quarter to recite Dylan Thomas' "Do Not Go Gentle into That Goodnight" and threw my quarter back at me, telling me to mind my own business.
  • A frat guy at OU told me I was the ugliest thing he'd seen.
  • Another bum on Harvard Square yelled at me for giving him pennies, even though it was all I had.
  • I was walking uphill, in the rain, to an exam, at 7am and a guy from OU coming downhill stopped me and said, "Nice character." I was like, "What? Nice hair? I know it's raining." And he repeated, "No, nice character." Again I was standing there, blinking out WTF? and he reiterated cynically, "That's right. Nice character."
  • I was running and a guy on his bike glided up next to me and asked me if I would sit on his face. (Why a sweaty runner?)

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